
Keith Lusher 04.11.25
There comes a time in each middle-aged particular person’s life once they understand they’ve misplaced contact with what’s “cool.” At 50, I’ve totally embraced this actuality. My daughters appear decided to maintain me considerably related, which is why all of them pitched in to purchase me the apparently ultra-hip Turtlebox Ranger speaker. “All people’s bought one,” my youngest daughter Maddie stated. Whereas I will not be certified to guage its coolness issue, I can definitely decide whether or not it delivers on its guarantees.
I’ve grown deeply skeptical of selling claims in our disposable society, the place electronics appear designed with built-in expiration dates. My again patio has develop into a graveyard for 3 flat-screen TVs, all victims of the relentless Louisiana humidity. Down right here, we make an important distinction between common “waterproof” and “Louisiana waterproof” – the latter having the ability to stand up to 98% humidity for weeks on finish, air so thick you can nearly swim via it.
So when the Turtlebox Ranger boasted waterproof capabilities, my curiosity was piqued, however my expectations remained firmly in test. Years of disappointment have taught me to method these claims with the warning of a person who’s watched too many electronics succumb to our rainforest situations.
Unboxing the speaker felt like dealing with a small brick. I’ve discovered to affiliate weight with high quality in electronics; flimsy means failure, substantial suggests endurance. The Ranger’s hefty 2.4 kilos spoke volumes earlier than hitting the facility button. The setup proved refreshingly easy—no instruction guide was wanted to cost it, energy it up, and join it to my iPhone by way of Bluetooth.
However the true take a look at awaited within the Abita swamp of Southeast Louisiana, the place I introduced the Ranger alongside for {a magazine} picture shoot about largemouth bass fishing. If any surroundings might problem the Turtlebox’s resilience claims, it will be right here, within the coronary heart of humidity nation.
Specs at a Look:
- Dimensions: 8.05″ H × 3.15″ W × 3.15″ D
- Weight: 2.4 lbs
- Bluetooth 5.4 connectivity
- IP-67 waterproof ranking
- 100% drop, crush, and dust-proof building
- All-day battery life
- Pairing functionality with Authentic Gen 3’s, Rangers, and Grandes
- Designed for gatherings of 1-10 folks
Efficiency within the Louisiana Swamp
The Ranger’s IP-67 waterproof ranking claims it may deal with submersion as much as 3 toes for half-hour, however the sulfuric-smelling Louisiana swamp presents a disgusting cocktail of challenges past mere chocolate milk-colored water. My picture shoot had me plowing via muddy terrain, navigating cypress knees, and battling the type of humidity that had my digicam lens fogged inside seconds.

What impressed me most was how this little beast of a speaker took the beating. The Ranger’s Class D digital amplifier pumped out crystal-clear audio whilst we pushed deeper into the swamp. The twin 2-inch waterproof drivers delivered clear, crisp sound that carried surprisingly properly throughout the water, whereas the passive 2×4-inch speaker offered a bass response that sounded very like my first Bose moveable speaker I purchased once I was in my 20s.
The true testomony to the Ranger’s sturdiness got here when it slipped from a department that I had it mounted to. I assumed to myself, “Nicely, this shall be an awesome take a look at huh?” After fishing it out and giving it a fast rinse with muddy swamp water (all we had accessible), the speaker continued taking part in with out lacking a beat. No seepage, no hiccups – simply dependable efficiency that defied the surroundings’s greatest makes an attempt to silence it.

Later, again at house, I pushed it additional with a correct cleansing from the hose, which instinctively felt fallacious whereas I used to be doing it. Once more, the Ranger proved itself really waterproof—not simply promoting waterproof, however actual waterproof—no ifs, ands, or buts!
Versatility Past the Swamp
For distant fishing seminars the place I would like to attach a microphone, the Ranger has changed my bulkier Tailgator. Regardless of its compact measurement, it delivers sufficient quantity to be heard clearly. Nonetheless, I did discover that at most quantity, there’s a slight distortion if you’re standing very near the speaker – a minor quibble, contemplating its meant use is for outside areas.

The battery life lives as much as the “all-day” declare, simply lasting via prolonged outings while not having a recharge. The USB-C port for charging not solely powers up the speaker shortly however can even cost different units—a clutch characteristic if you’re away from energy sources for prolonged intervals.
The Verdict: Louisiana-Proof Excellence
After placing the Turtlebox Ranger via situations that will beat down most electronics to an early demise, I can confidently say this speaker delivered. Time will inform the way it holds up. At $220, it’s positioned between funds audio system that may’t stand up to the weather and higher-end choices like Turtlebox’s personal Gen 2 ($400) and Grande ($700) fashions.

Whether or not you’re searching for a speaker to accompany you on fishing journeys, seaside outings, golf programs, or – in my case – swamp excursions for journal images, the Ranger proves itself a worthy bruiser deserving of each the funding and the hype my daughters assured me it commanded.
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